Thursday, September 07, 2006

Yeast Infection

Last night I thought I was going to die.
I woke up to find I had an unbearable pain in my chest, and pins and needles down my arm. I couldn't breath properly. It was 4am in the morning. I cried and swore till I woke up Alan, who quickly ran through a checklist in his head.

What is wrong with her?
Is she having a heart attack?
No she is 30.
Where have I seen this behaviour before?
When she drank a real ale.
She is allergic to yeast.
What did she eat before bed?
Half a slab of brie on ryvita with mango chutney.
What's in brie?
Yeast. And Mould.
Why would anyone eat brie?

She has wind.
She thinks she's dying though.

Meantime, I'm still contorting myself into weird shapes, crying, panting, swearing and wailing. Alan got me to get out of bed and walk around, force fed me hot drinks and gave me a hot water bottle. The tea made the pain go away gradually, and after an hour or so I decided quietly that I might not be dying after all. I slinked back to the bedroom, got back in bed, and slept soundly till the morning.

Leaving Alan in the living room, wide awake.


At 12:14 AM, Blogger MNN said...

Brie with mango? !!! :))))

At 3:47 PM, Blogger sarah said...

What?! It's nice.

Especially on a croissant and then melted in the micro for 20 secs.

At 8:29 PM, Blogger Dr Geist said...

why in the name of god would u want to eat ryvita in the first place? is just re cycled cardboard. actually it probobly has less taste than recycled cardboard.
and brie with mango is good.
cant believe u put it on ryvita

At 10:24 PM, Blogger sarah said...

i love ryvita
me and ryvita, are like that
(crosses fingers)
and the new ryvita crisp packet type thingys are beautiful.

At 11:49 AM, Blogger Gordon said...

brie with mango sounds ACE!

Ohh but be careful, those pains sound awfully like the ones my wife used to get... the ended up being gallstones!

(note to self: maybe this isn't the best thing to leave as your first comment on a site, ya muppet)

At 11:17 PM, Blogger sarah said...

i will not look up gallstones symptoms on netdoctor. com

i will not look up gallstones symptoms on netdoctor. com

i will not look up gallstones symptoms on netdoctor. com

At 4:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i've never heard of that much pain being associated with a yeast infection.

gallstones could be it - ouch!

we also cover yeast infection symptoms at


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