Saturday, August 26, 2006

Magenta Cocks

This morning, I got into work only to be told I am no longer required as they are having some financial difficulties and have been advised to lay me off. My boss was very apologetic and explained that the retail industry is going through a rough time at the moment.
This is all bollocks of course.
I didn't fit in, they didn't like me, I was still on my probation period, they got rid.
So its only been 5 weeks and already I am back to where i started.

Oh well, as Frank says,

Anyone fancy a pint?

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Broke in Leith

Well I am having a pretty shit time of it just now. I am always skint, but my skintness has reached an all time low. Our heads aren't above water, they are 3000ft below sea level, and my feet are stuck in sludge. Between us, Alan and I have three jobs, but are living on toast.

The fact that I now work in a particularly affluent area of Edinburgh only highlights this more. The ladies of leisure I meet reek of money. They shop in Waitrose and have handbags that cost the equivalent to three months of my salary. When I go to the cashline at lunchtime, there is always a woman in front, taking out a massive wad, no doubt to buy more ridiculously priced organic vegetables and a couple of bottles of wine from Peckhams. I don't hate these people, don't get me wrong, I am just sort of confused. I mean what is the score George Doors?

I know that most of my friends are struggling away too, with the daily challenge of how to make dinner for under £1 but I just don't get why. We are nearly middle aged. Why is it such a struggle for us and a picnic set from Harvey Nicks for everyone else? This wasn't in the brochure. Life does indeed suck.

But I do like a challenge.

You know those maths puzzles they gave you at school? A bit like this?

Tamara has a dozen organic apples.

If she gives her neighbours, the Castletons, 6 apples

Will they invite her to their masquerade ball?

It should have been more realistic

Sarah Has £8.68 to last her until Friday.

It costs £2.30 a day to get to work and its only Monday.

She needs toilet roll (0.99p)

Cat Food (0.29p x 3 per day)

Milk 0.99p

And fags £2.70 per day

There are still cuppa soups and some ready meals from last year in the freezer that she hates, but bread would be nice. (0.24p)in LIDL.

How can Sarah last till Friday without selling:-

a) everything she owns on ebay

b) drugs
c) herself?